Chronicles of Dollar Boy 6

Once in a while, we need to do something crazy just to keep life from being mundane, so it won't be too boring. Maybe even to feel emotions we have forgotten.

When I wrote in a poem the words "drench me... flood every road, every vein...", I never imagined that fate would take it literally!

So I did something crazy last Wednesday. I guess its because the storm was lashing out in Manila. The roads are flooded and cars aren't moving so I have to spend 3 1/2 hours listening to the cheesiest radio station on air. Anyway, I felt I need to do something crazy in connection to Dollar boy. Just to keep him real. Like the real, crazy storm outside.

The Dollar boy in my head is cuter than the real Dollar boy. I realized that when my sister unfeelingly pointed out that he is not that cute. Maybe he is not that cute(he is still cute though), but not all overly cute guys have his slow-dancing stare that I'm so crazy about. It seems that my sister doesn't like him. First, she said that he was too giggly. Then, that cute comment and then she said something that I should hurry to get a job so I can meet someone else. sigh. She doesn't understand. I won't be interested in someone else. There is no one more intriguing than the guy behind the glass window.

He no longer beams at me like he used to. He just smiles. I don't understand, he chats with every person he assists but when it comes to me, it was all business-like, even the flirty smile disappears. So I have to do something drastic. Not minding that it was totally inappropriate.

After all, a girl gotta do what a girl have to do. And I have to ask about that ring, it no longer looks like a college ring to me(maybe it was a different ring, we'll never know). So when we are about to leave, I backtracked. I told him I have to ask him something. He said, "Yes, Ma'am?" (I find that amusing:)) Then there was a silent tension, for dramatic purposes, so he will get the essense of the question thoroughly. I asked him if the ring he is wearing is a wedding ring. He grinned and ask why. I replied, "Just because." He said no. I said ok and stepped away, I heard him laugh(sweet, sweet music). By that time, I was laughing too, I said thank you and saw the gay one in the cubicle beside him looking shocked.

So now he knows I'm interested in his civil status.

However this turns out, I got a kick out of what I did. I really enjoyed it. The last I felt that thrilled was the Japs Sergio event. And that is almost a year ago.

I felt alive that day. Maybe I should ask inappropriate questions more often.

Chronicles of Dollar Boy 3

An Aquariumed Affair

Watching you like a fish
in a glass bowl, I'm startled
to see you staring back
at me. (You see fishes
don't usually see pass
their contained ocean.)

I'm amused with our language of stares
of silence, of secrecy, of subtlety.

I'm torn knowing if i reach my hand
through your glass walls
it will shatter, water will spill.

You'll be a fish without a world.
I'll be drench with smelly water.

I love and hate the glass windows of romance.



I haven't written a poem in an year and 3 months. I was a member of Thomasian writer's guild, I used to be good then all the shitty things in life happened and I lost everything even my writing. Then ofcourse, here I am writing a poem for a guy I barely know. Writing my first poem for over a year, picking up a pen, scrounging for paper. I love the feeling of putting that last period. I wrote that poem at 2 'o clock in the morning, just like old times. Just like old times. I wrote it in one sitting, even the title. Titles are my weakest point. But this time, I like my title. The thing is this poem is better than the last two I wrote. they were for a guy, he was a jerk and the poems are worse than he was. I have to squeeze those poems out of me because I owe an editor some materials for the annual folio, plus I sort of want to feel "right" to end things with the jerky guy and sort of meant those poems to be.. I don't know I wasn't thinking right at that time. and I'm glad that time was over. Anyway, love poems are not really my thing. I usually write about what I see and not really good in writing what I feel. I like this poem, it isn't cheesy and I've read it over and over again and I haven't cringe a bit. Well I don't care, I like it. And I like using words like "affair" and "romance", it sounds very adult! I just felt really good to write again. I felt happy. Not fun, not kilig just happy.

I had a chance to speak with Mr. Dollar Boy again and I didn't booched it this time. I think I came across as a bitch but I don't think he noticed. I think he was suprised I was talking to him, at least he looked surprised. Actually, he looked more surprised after we talked than at the start. he must be wondering why I talked to him. The thing is, I asked him for a favor. It was some favor because he actually broke the law. There's this bank secrecy law, where they are not suppose to give out information about a bank account to other than the person who owns the account. I heard it being mentioned a lot on congressional hearings about politian's bank accounts. I asked him information about my lola's account, because my lola is asking me to. I have a made up authorization letter courtesy of photoshop but I didn't show it to him because I have decided I am enough to get the info I need from him. I felt guilty about "using" him but I want find out if I can make him do things the other tellers won't do for me. And believe me, the other tellers won't do that for me, I've tried. Another thing, he isn't even in-charge of the checking accounts. He is in-charge of the foreign deposits and special accounts, so I guess I now fall into the special accounts. :P

I forgot to flirt though, again. Even when I said thank you, I was only semi-smiling but I'm pretty sure when I asked for help, I was smiling that time. I think he said something that was flirty but i"m not really sure if I heard him so I just replied a very,very profound "what?". Argh! there was a thousand voices screaming in my head and his voice was really soft at that time. Wait, I think he said something not flirty in a really flirty way, I think thats it. Well, I think the fact that I can now actually speak when I'm speaking to him is a big improvement form the last time.

I now know why I'm this crazy about him. At the moment when I fell in like with him, he looked at me intensely with really kind and gentle eyes. They were just really, really kind. You know, like the way Mama Mary statues look at you. It's not like nobody looked at me that way before, I didn't notice things like that, it's just that; that was the kind of look I needed at that time. I think I was so shy with him because I thought he saw right through with that look but now I don't think he did. He couldn't have. He just have really beautiful, kind and gentle eyes. hehehee