Holidays are helldays

This is suppose to be a christmas entry but I didn't have time and dollar boy was a more pressing issue so I had to write about him first. Another thing, I am not entirely sure if this entry is non-fiction or logical for that matter

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I love christmas and I am not a christmas grinch. Atleast, that is what I tell myself everytime christmas season comes around. Actually, I really do love christmas. I like the idea of everyone recieving and giving gifts. I love the idea of a Santa Clause. I love it that everyone deserves a gift because it is Jesus' birthday. I love christmas shopping. I love noche buena. I definitely love christmas trees and christmas lights. On the other hand, it seems that christmas doesn't like me. Bad christmas memories outwieghs the happy ones. In fact, I can only remember two happy ones. When i was about five years old and Santa gave me my secret christmas wish which is a parrot stuff toy. I swear, I didn't tell anyone that I like it and from then on I believed in Santa Clause, it odesn't matter if he doesn't come down from a chimmey or wears a red suit. Another happy christmas was the christmas of 2003, barely a month after my operation, I am just happy and thankful that I am celebrating christmas. I've already had 21 christmasses and just having two good ones isn't well, good. Anyway, this is how my last holidays went.

Going through the holidays grocery and gift shoppings had been exhilarating. Preparing the noche buena while watching Star Wars marathon well, lets just say I like cheese and my mom's spaghetti is the best ever. Choosing my christmas outfit was, well a blast; from my diva-like red blouse, to my stunning white pants, to my happy green shoes, to the red ribbon I put on my ponytail, I embodied christmas. So far so good right?

Then came christmas day.

Somehow, there are a lot of things to do and I am the only one who can do it. Everyone else is having a holiday except me. A green salad for other people I don't know and probably don't like. A macaroni salad which somehow isn't as good as my mom's. More gifts to wrap. Dirty dishes to wash. The table's a mess. The floor's a mess. I have no time to take a bath, I feel bad and I probably smell bad too. A godchild is knocking on the door, I don't want her to think my christmas best is an old school t-shirt, shorts and a messy hair. Next thing I know, I laying on my parents' bed; face down, tears making their way out my eyes, desperately thinking of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. I just want to be in a happier place at that time. Then my dad asked me if I'm crying because I've heard of the news. News? What news? Am I suppose to hear a news that is suppose to make me cry? Wow. Last year's christmas when I was crying on christmas day because of a guy seemed really good right now.

The news is actually christmass-y, a teenage girl pregnant. Somehow, I didn't hear the angels sing hallelujah.

Fast forward to new year's day. Guess where I found myself just hours after fireworks ushered the new year in. It was almost surreal, but there I was, at the skyway, sitting on its pavement, throwing up. I was not drunk, my father is and he was the one driving. What happened was, the car hit something jusr before we enter the skyway and my head hit the car. I know I was hurt and I also know I no longer want to ride in the car. So, when I got my now angry drunk-driving dad to stop, I got out and threw-up. I threw-up because of hyper-acidity in my stomach, which I think was caused by fear, panic and something in the carbonara I had. My hands were shaking so hard, I've never thought hands can shake that much. I can barely see them moving but they are shaking like a ringing cellphone in silent mode. There was nothing left for me to throw-up, so my dad is begging me to get back to the car which I wouldn't do, so he threathened to jump off the sky way. By that time, I started questioning the reality of everything. Anyway, skyway patrol finally got to us and that was when I noticed my sister resting her head on the railings of skyway. I leaned my head too, after all not everyone can claim they rested their head on the railings of skyway.

Riding at the back of the service van of the skyway patrol, we passed by a billboard of a rock royalty. It made me remember that I used to have normal life. I missed that. At that time, my life seemed to be a telenovela that I wouldn't even watch, worst of all, I don't have control over the creative content.

Chronicles of Dollar boy

Here in Chronicles of Dollar boy, I will feature my adventures concerning Dollar boy. You see, Dollar boy is quite special since he is the first guy I like after i stopped hating men and the whole world all together. So, I just have to write about him. Anyway, normally this should be under the kilig section but due to what i have to tell you; i will place it under YE BOOCHED IT. Ye booch it is from Puzzle Pirates (great game, check it out!) whejn the navigator, well booched navigating. Booch means doing way worse than poor. Its the same with screwing or messing things up. Booching means failing. now, that we are done with the definition of terms, we now move on to my really, really pathetic story.

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Santa is such a sweetie, he decided to put may lovelife in a less pragmatic mode! Lola asked me to tranfer funds from her dollar account to her current account and what does that mean? The one thing that I am ernestly hoping for: a transaction with dollar boy. You see, dollar boy is a bank teller in my lola's bank and for the past 6 months, I think I've visited that bank at the minimum of once a week. Since I am in a hermit mode them, mostly they are the only people I ame in contact with aside ofcourse from the SSS Manila people, which we also frequent. He is tall and have a really, really intoxicating pair of eyes. I also know his real name, but I am not gonna use because "Dollar boy" is just more dreamy than his real name.

Anyway, since I've been dreaming about this transaction for so long I put extra effort in looking perfect. I even wear my hair like I did when Japs saw me. I even tagged my sister along for moral support, besides I need her opinion on Dollar boy. So, things are going smoothly; I look good, I sound good, my mind is not failing me and I am offering everyone a smile. I am a creature unlike any other! Since I first have to transact with the savings account person, I have time to spare. That was when things go wrong.

My nerves are getting to me, so I try to distract myself by talking to Bhubhu, by laughing with Bhubhu and by pestering Bhubhu. I also try to calm myself, repeating my mantra " I am a princess. I am a princess. I am princess." But as I was walking over to him, he turned and looked directly at me. I froze, he was surprised but he immediately got over it. So, I continued walking towards him (didn't think 2 feet would take so much time to cover). I placed the two forms in fromt of him and tried to remember what I must ask him to do. He had actually scan the two forms before I formed what I have to say. He must think I'm a pea brain. I really don't like myself right now. But then again, he saw my UST id, so I can't be a total pea brain. Another bad thing my id picture isn't bad but it also doesn't say GODDESS! Furthermore, my ID states my real name and my real name is always an excuse for guys to flirt with me but he didn't flirt with me. If he did, I might have remembered to flirt with him. I really cannot believe myself.

You know, I think he enjoyed watching me suffer because he was smiling and after i took my seat to wait for him to process my transaction, he was giggling. And, my sister does not also like him (though she doesn't know I like him) because he was too giggly. On the positive side, he called my last name instead of my lola's last name so I guess he cares enough to took notice of me unlike the other teller who didn't (anyway, the other teller is gay) But that was the only positive thing, would you believe I even forgot to get Lola's bankbook from him. I totally suck.

and i need a major, major second chance.

Help!Bheng!what should I do? Because I booched this, I now realize, I really like him. Well, atleast for now...