I will let the better writers say what I have to say...
Y de pronto, no estás. Adiós, amor, adiós.
Ya te marchaste.
Nada queda de ti. La ciudad gira:
molino en el que todo se deshace.
(At bigla kang nawala. Paalam, pag-ibig, paalam.
Nakaalis ka na.
Walang iniwang bakas. Umiikot ang siyudad:
parang gilingan na dinudurog ang lahat.)
Ciudad - Angel Gonzales
Palaging may ulan ang pamamaalam
Kaya binabaha ng lungkot ang lungsod
Ng panandaliang pagsasama't lugod.
Huwag kang lilingon at baka malusaw
Na asin ang mithing pagbabagong-loob.
Palaging may ulan ang pamamaalam
Kaya binabaha ng lungkot ang lungsod
Bangkay na lulutang ang panghihinayang
Ngayong nalunod na ang lahat ng pusok
At kuyom sa dibdib ang basang alabok.
Palaging may ulan ang pamamaalam
Kaya binabaha ng lungkot ang lungsod
Ng panandaliang pagsasama't lugod.
Palagian May Ulan - Michael Coroza
All that I love
I fold over once
And once again
And keep in a box
Or a slit in a hollow post
Or in my shoe.
All that I love?
Why, yes, but for the moment-
And for all time, both.
Something that folds and keeps easy,
Son’s note or Dad’s one gaudy tie,
A roto picture of a queen,
A blue Indian shawl, even
A money bill.
It’s utter sublimation,
A feat, this heart’s control
Moment to moment
To scale all love down
To a cupped hand’s size
Till seashells are broken pieces
From God’s own bright teeth,
And life and love are real
Things you can run and
Breathless hand over
To the merest child.
Bonsai - Edith Tiempo
So you're gone and I have to live a lifetime without you. I honestly don't know how to do that. It was raining the night it was officially over. The sky was crying for me. Still, it did nothing to stop you. So I keep everything you left me in a little heart-shaped box. All the love you said you will always have for me , but cannot give. All the plans we made and we the ones that can't come true. The tickets of our last bus ride. I have to keep it safe in the box, so the world cannot take it away from me.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Jane Austen Men - Macho Yet Vulnerable
"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means
as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony,
half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings
are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart
even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years
and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman,
that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.
Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been,
but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath.
For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even
these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have
penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing
something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can
distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others.
Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.
You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.
Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.
"I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither,
or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look,
will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house
this evening or never."
- Persuasion
Persuasion may be Austen's weakest novel, but how can you not swoon with words like that?
Thursday, December 29, 2011
You Are A Nightmare
Here is why:
You got me stuck onto you even if I don't want to.
You smoke, you will be the death of me.
You make me worry.
You got me to write a poem when I am not suppose to.
(I am so waking up on January 2)
That Awesome Moment When..
Who would have thought
that the silence
between us is the best way
to communicate.
It was a long jeepney ride
no doubt. But no one guessed
how interesting it would be.
Rush hour
was oblivious to the start
of the game we play. Of not
seeing while fully knowing.
Not acknowledging while fully
feeling. It turned into a sport
where we compete how best
we can pretend that each other
don't exist.
How surprising the world
of secret smiles is. Indeed,
it became a world where others
exist with their loud laughter
and hidden innuendo. Where
we may sit at opposite ends
of the table and not share
a word to each other. not
seeming to share a world
at all. But when others
become preoccupied and our
eyes meet, that knowing smile.
that playful arched eyebrow.
the world is ours and the others
are but shadows.
How surprising everything is
... the awkwardness that persist
between our pressing thighs
gave way to the comfort we hold
in our interlocking hands.
You got me stuck onto you even if I don't want to.
You smoke, you will be the death of me.
You make me worry.
You got me to write a poem when I am not suppose to.
(I am so waking up on January 2)
That Awesome Moment When..
Who would have thought
that the silence
between us is the best way
to communicate.
It was a long jeepney ride
no doubt. But no one guessed
how interesting it would be.
Rush hour
was oblivious to the start
of the game we play. Of not
seeing while fully knowing.
Not acknowledging while fully
feeling. It turned into a sport
where we compete how best
we can pretend that each other
don't exist.
How surprising the world
of secret smiles is. Indeed,
it became a world where others
exist with their loud laughter
and hidden innuendo. Where
we may sit at opposite ends
of the table and not share
a word to each other. not
seeming to share a world
at all. But when others
become preoccupied and our
eyes meet, that knowing smile.
that playful arched eyebrow.
the world is ours and the others
are but shadows.
How surprising everything is
... the awkwardness that persist
between our pressing thighs
gave way to the comfort we hold
in our interlocking hands.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Generation Have-It-All
A drama-free family life. A job that doesn't feel like a job and also pays good bucks.A funny, smart and loyal boyfriend who I'm crazy about. Bonus points if he is hot. To see the world but still feel deeply rooted at home. To eat mouth-watering dishes but never get fat. To be rich naturally, but not one of those stuck-up rich brats. Of course we would want to give back. We are dream of doing it all and we believe we can have it all. This is the destiny of our generation and anyone who doubts that we can make this happen is just really old.
Well, at least that is what we think until we start to doubt it ourselves too.
We just don't get why it is hard and takes so long for our dreams to come true. We know it was not going to be easy, but we did not know it would be this hard. We are aware that we whine a lot. In our blogs, in Twitter, in our Facebook status. We know its irritating. But we can't help it, we were promised that the only thing that can stop us from making our dreams come true is us. Yet here we are disheartened because there are some things that we just cannot control like laws of physics, time, our government, our parents. There is a lot of things we want to do but we cannot be in two places at the same time and we always feel like we are running out of time. Every day our ideals are challenged, every day there is a proof that what we have known as truth is actually grey at best. We are confused most of the time. We try so hard to keep on focusing on our goal but sometimes that goal is just so blinding that we have to look away. Then sometimes we forget to look back.
We were just kids when the instant noodles become integrated into the Filipino's dinner table. We grew up thinking that you can have a delicious comfort food in just three minutes. Patience is perhaps not one of our virtues. We always think that perhaps there is a faster way to do things so when reality proves us wrong, we have hard time accepting it. It's just hard to think that there is anything impossible at this day and age. Most especially, its unthinkable for our dreams not to be possible.
So what do we do when it gets hard? We either take a break then go for it stronger or give-up on it before it gives up on us.
So much for having-it-all, instead we put our life on hold and enter a quarter-life crisis.
During this time the world is very scary for us. We have seen a lot, we have read a lot so we know that a lot of fucked-up things can happen. Worse, we do not have a restart button just like the video games we grow up with. We feel trapped. There seems to be nowhere we can go and if ever there is, we do not feel that we are good enough for it, that we are good enough for anything. Totally playing the failure part.
Fortunately this crisis ends. Even though it does not have a uniform timeline some got out of in a month others take years, the important thing is that it ends.
Once we got out of that dark hole, that's when we realize the true meaning of having it all. So believe again, but this time we are packing up some patience that just enjoy the ride.
Well, at least that is what we think until we start to doubt it ourselves too.
We just don't get why it is hard and takes so long for our dreams to come true. We know it was not going to be easy, but we did not know it would be this hard. We are aware that we whine a lot. In our blogs, in Twitter, in our Facebook status. We know its irritating. But we can't help it, we were promised that the only thing that can stop us from making our dreams come true is us. Yet here we are disheartened because there are some things that we just cannot control like laws of physics, time, our government, our parents. There is a lot of things we want to do but we cannot be in two places at the same time and we always feel like we are running out of time. Every day our ideals are challenged, every day there is a proof that what we have known as truth is actually grey at best. We are confused most of the time. We try so hard to keep on focusing on our goal but sometimes that goal is just so blinding that we have to look away. Then sometimes we forget to look back.
We were just kids when the instant noodles become integrated into the Filipino's dinner table. We grew up thinking that you can have a delicious comfort food in just three minutes. Patience is perhaps not one of our virtues. We always think that perhaps there is a faster way to do things so when reality proves us wrong, we have hard time accepting it. It's just hard to think that there is anything impossible at this day and age. Most especially, its unthinkable for our dreams not to be possible.
So what do we do when it gets hard? We either take a break then go for it stronger or give-up on it before it gives up on us.
So much for having-it-all, instead we put our life on hold and enter a quarter-life crisis.
During this time the world is very scary for us. We have seen a lot, we have read a lot so we know that a lot of fucked-up things can happen. Worse, we do not have a restart button just like the video games we grow up with. We feel trapped. There seems to be nowhere we can go and if ever there is, we do not feel that we are good enough for it, that we are good enough for anything. Totally playing the failure part.
Fortunately this crisis ends. Even though it does not have a uniform timeline some got out of in a month others take years, the important thing is that it ends.
Once we got out of that dark hole, that's when we realize the true meaning of having it all. So believe again, but this time we are packing up some patience that just enjoy the ride.
Friday, July 15, 2011
It's Friday and office is so quiet
Rush Hour
By 5:30 my thoughts start rushing towards you. Like school kids at the sound of the bell, they flew past the door at the speed of light. They join the throng of over-worked, under-paid employees. All of them are just thankful that the day is over. There is food on the table. There is a bed waiting at home. Tomorrow, we will do this all over again. But my thoughts are sparkles of light amongst the mob. Always hopeful. Always dreaming.They don't mind the congested roads of Makati or the muddy streets of Pasay. They don't care about the traffic or the rising fare. They don't see the kid carrying another kid giving people envelopes as if the coins they get can save them from the wrath of an abusive, alcoholic father. All of that are not real. All of that are forgotten.
As soon as my thoughts nestled on the curve of your shoulders and neck, all the grisly stuff is just a dream.
By 5:30 my thoughts start rushing towards you. Like school kids at the sound of the bell, they flew past the door at the speed of light. They join the throng of over-worked, under-paid employees. All of them are just thankful that the day is over. There is food on the table. There is a bed waiting at home. Tomorrow, we will do this all over again. But my thoughts are sparkles of light amongst the mob. Always hopeful. Always dreaming.They don't mind the congested roads of Makati or the muddy streets of Pasay. They don't care about the traffic or the rising fare. They don't see the kid carrying another kid giving people envelopes as if the coins they get can save them from the wrath of an abusive, alcoholic father. All of that are not real. All of that are forgotten.
As soon as my thoughts nestled on the curve of your shoulders and neck, all the grisly stuff is just a dream.
Friday, July 01, 2011
Because I Can't Always Worry About Keywords
When it dawned on me that I am going to manage three blogs with each set of keywords and intersecting keywords, I realised I also have to write regularly on this blog.
I want to find my writing style. Or develop one. I don't know my style yet but I know what I want it to be. I want it to be easy to read, engaging, funny, sometimes sarcastic, honest, thoughtful without being too serious.
I want my readers to feel like they are just reading a note by a friend, who maybe has her quirks, sometimes bordering flat out weird but still amusing on her own little way. And since I am writing about my life, I may appear neurotic sometimes but that's exactly why I have this blog. So i can have a different perspective on how I am living my life.
Now that my depression is over,I thought of making a new blog or erasing all the previews entries just like I did years ago, but I can't bear to do that. I owe so much to this blog that let have an outlet, kept me sane and sometimes let me pretend that I have a life these past four years. Though some of these entries make me blush, I am keeping them here. They are history but they are my history.
So, happy reading.
I want to find my writing style. Or develop one. I don't know my style yet but I know what I want it to be. I want it to be easy to read, engaging, funny, sometimes sarcastic, honest, thoughtful without being too serious.
I want my readers to feel like they are just reading a note by a friend, who maybe has her quirks, sometimes bordering flat out weird but still amusing on her own little way. And since I am writing about my life, I may appear neurotic sometimes but that's exactly why I have this blog. So i can have a different perspective on how I am living my life.
Now that my depression is over,I thought of making a new blog or erasing all the previews entries just like I did years ago, but I can't bear to do that. I owe so much to this blog that let have an outlet, kept me sane and sometimes let me pretend that I have a life these past four years. Though some of these entries make me blush, I am keeping them here. They are history but they are my history.
So, happy reading.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Another Grown-up Step: Letting Go
So I did something significant last Friday the 13th.I removed you from my news feed.Deleting you from my friends seemed a bit bitter and not really necessary.
Walking on my way to work, I just thought it is time. I no longer need to be updated about you. I no longer feel the thirst to torment myself with pictures of your life that I'm no longer a part of. This is actually way overdue, but I think I am finally on the last stages of letting you go. About freaking time.
I have to confess, it is partly I dread seeing an update that you are engaged. With all that is happening with your life, I get the feeling that you are growing up and that just might be the next unbelievable thing that you will do. You're not really the marrying type, at least I didn't think you were. What do I know, they are so many things you did that I did not really expect from you. Did I knew you at all? I'm scared to answer that.
I guess that was all there is. It was college. It was over. We are over. It was just me who was so stubborn channelling Peter Pan. Anyway, it was really nice knowing you. (Atleast, the version of you that I know. I feel a little cheated, the parts you did not show me seem wonderful too.)
You are my first regret. It was so hard to stomached that I failed at something and the result is I missed out on you. I know everything has a reason and things, well most of the things turn out for the better but I still regret losing you as a friend. Because that's what you are first and foremost. My friend.
Still, it is time to let go. Anyway, with all the technology in the world there is a way to get back when there is a reason to get back. We are not burning bridges here (I made that mistake 5 years ago, no longer doing that.) just unclasping a closed fist.
Maybe someday, there will be a better "us" someday.
Just one last hang-up, I really don't like your girlfriend. I don't get how you can love someone whose favourite movie is "Babe"!
Sorry, I just have to say it... shutting up about that now.
I wish you'll be very happy. I really mean it. You know what, I think you are and I don't think you need someone you knew in college wishing you otherwise. You seem so discontented back then, its really nice to see you happy. Really.
Walking on my way to work, I just thought it is time. I no longer need to be updated about you. I no longer feel the thirst to torment myself with pictures of your life that I'm no longer a part of. This is actually way overdue, but I think I am finally on the last stages of letting you go. About freaking time.
I have to confess, it is partly I dread seeing an update that you are engaged. With all that is happening with your life, I get the feeling that you are growing up and that just might be the next unbelievable thing that you will do. You're not really the marrying type, at least I didn't think you were. What do I know, they are so many things you did that I did not really expect from you. Did I knew you at all? I'm scared to answer that.
I guess that was all there is. It was college. It was over. We are over. It was just me who was so stubborn channelling Peter Pan. Anyway, it was really nice knowing you. (Atleast, the version of you that I know. I feel a little cheated, the parts you did not show me seem wonderful too.)
You are my first regret. It was so hard to stomached that I failed at something and the result is I missed out on you. I know everything has a reason and things, well most of the things turn out for the better but I still regret losing you as a friend. Because that's what you are first and foremost. My friend.
Still, it is time to let go. Anyway, with all the technology in the world there is a way to get back when there is a reason to get back. We are not burning bridges here (I made that mistake 5 years ago, no longer doing that.) just unclasping a closed fist.
Maybe someday, there will be a better "us" someday.
Just one last hang-up, I really don't like your girlfriend. I don't get how you can love someone whose favourite movie is "Babe"!
Sorry, I just have to say it... shutting up about that now.
I wish you'll be very happy. I really mean it. You know what, I think you are and I don't think you need someone you knew in college wishing you otherwise. You seem so discontented back then, its really nice to see you happy. Really.